That Stare


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Raw

This has been kept in my Notes app ever since I decided to write down whatever I feel inside while I'm in this "transition"–in hopes of properly processing my emotions. See that there are dates indicated because I intended to keep everything in one note for some reason. I originally entitled this note "boop". Just to be clear, everything that you are about to read is raw and unfiltered; I didn't change anything before posting this. All of it is 100% true as dated. So here goes my vulnerability... boop  [Some time in May]   I don’t know but sometimes I feel empty. Literally. You know when you want to make time for yourself just thinking about anything but nothing comes to your mind? And then eventually sadness kicks in. I don’t know where this sadness comes from: is it an overflow of what’s inside my heart? Is it because I feel like I’m just showing a facade to people? Or is it because of the never-ending longing of God’s comfort that I don’t get because I al...
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Stranger Who?

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Some people like making conversations. Small talks, long talks, whatever kind of talk. It's the fact that you get to know a person's perspective when you talk to them. Asking random things and such. You won't even care if you don't share anything about yourself, just as long as you're making a conversation with someone else, that's all. But then it's different when they also want to know about you. It's different when they are the ones asking you random stuff, and when they seem like they really want to know the reason behind the things you do and the reason for your decisions, your preferences—it's bizarre. Being the one who always asks, some people would think you're also the type to share a lot about yourself. The thing is, you may actually share a lot of things to people but only very few of them know what exactly you are thinking when you say or do things. That's why it's a little bit hard to compreh...
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Landslide by Tiny Habits

I just listened to Landslide by Tiny Habits (originally Fleetwood Mac), and it compelled me to write another blog entry... “I took my love and I took it down” Morning of January 1, New Year, I finally decided to cut the chase with the guy that I like and been in contact with since last summer. I like him so much, though it only took me less than a year of getting to know him. He said he wanted to pursue me even though we were physically distant from each other (we met online). I allowed him. It didn’t work on my end. He couldn’t grasp the idea of actually making time and have intentional, genuine conversations with me. I know myself enough to ask that from him. I like him so much, but I had to let go of him––of the fact that we're not gonna work. I’m in the middle of participating in our local church’s annual prayer, fasting, and consecration, day 4 to be exact. Before I started reading the supplemental booklet, I grabbed my old devo journal and read my list of faith goals last 202...
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