Danication~

I just listened to Landslide by Tiny Habits (originally Fleetwood Mac), and it compelled me to write another blog entry... “I took my love and I took it down” Morning of January 1, New Year, I finally decided to cut the chase with the guy that I like and been in contact with since last summer. I like him so much, though it only took me less than a year of getting to know him. He said he wanted to pursue me even though we were physically distant from each other (we met online). I allowed him. It didn’t work on my end. He couldn’t grasp the idea of actually making time and have intentional, genuine conversations with me. I know myself enough to ask that from him. I like him so much, but I had to let go of him––of the fact that we're not gonna work. I’m in the middle of participating in our local church’s annual prayer, fasting, and consecration, day 4 to be exact. Before I started reading the supplemental booklet, I grabbed my old devo journal and read my list of faith goals last 202...

I was listening to some of my favorite Jason Mraz' songs and thought (for the nth time) of really wanting to include a lot of his songs in my wedding ceremony/reception in the future. Well, actually I've always been thinking that I will only tell of all my favorite songs to a man once we're already planning for our wedding. That's how important and special music is for me, as well as letting my future husband know all of it. Speaking of future husband, right now I've been clearing out my thoughts from thinking about any guy for now. I've had this situation that went on a few months ago and it pained me to an extent that led me to decide not pursuing of anything related to relationships just yet. I wanted to work on my relationship with my God in this season because I should've been intentional about it with the Lord in the first place. Having to prioritize spending time with someone else more than my quiet time with the Lover of my soul is something that I s...

Hello! So it's been a while since my last blog entry. Wow, I can't believe there were a lot of things that happened in between.  Quick update: It's almost my birthday and I filed a 2-day vacation leave to celebrate my birthday somewhere in Bukidnon; this will be my first time celebrating my birthday in a backpacker kind of way because I decided I will be someone spontaneous, why not? And I just thought of celebrating it alone but also not really alone because I want to be in the presence of God while no one (that I know) is around me. I want to experience joy between Him and I alone.  Ever since I started loving the outdoors and gotten exposed to several trips be it by land, sea or air, I wanted to have a whole trip by myself. Going on trips used to be either having a company with me or me traveling alone and then arriving to a place where I'll be meeting people who I'll be spending time with. Never just me the entire time. Okay, going back to filling in the gap w...

I've just tried using dating apps recently. How does that make me feel? While it's fun getting to know random people, or should I say strangers, the reality of dating apps/sites is also a little disappointing because it's just so rarely that I get to encounter someone who has the same intention as I do (like just pure gtky and long conversations tbh) because most of the guys I've encountered so far, from my perspective, I could say what they actually want. They just couldn't say it outright but I know, I mean it's online dating, and I guess it's just the way it is. Welcome to the world of online dating, self!  Okay, seriously... I'm not sure if I can keep up. Genuine connection is hard to find in there even if you just want to pursue friendship. I can't really be myself because it feels as if I have to put on a facade just so I can keep up with the people I find interesting, and if I won't, then they might think I'm too much to handle and wan...

This has been kept in my Notes app ever since I decided to write down whatever I feel inside while I'm in this "transition"–in hopes of properly processing my emotions. See that there are dates indicated because I intended to keep everything in one note for some reason. I originally entitled this note "boop". Just to be clear, everything that you are about to read is raw and unfiltered; I didn't change anything before posting this. All of it is 100% true as dated. So here goes my vulnerability... boop  [Some time in May]   I don’t know but sometimes I feel empty. Literally. You know when you want to make time for yourself just thinking about anything but nothing comes to your mind? And then eventually sadness kicks in. I don’t know where this sadness comes from: is it an overflow of what’s inside my heart? Is it because I feel like I’m just showing a facade to people? Or is it because of the never-ending longing of God’s comfort that I don’t get because I al...

I swore I would be true And honey so did you So why were you holding her hand? Is that the way we stand? Were you lying all the time? Was it just a game to you? But I'm in so deep You know I'm such a fool for you You got me wrapped around your finger Do you have to let it linger? Linger // The Cranberries